Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Extra, Extra: Read All About It

After a slow start to the week, it has suddenly taken a turn into blogworthy territory. First, the bad news: We lost on Saturday. We played great for 3 quarters and had a few tough possessions, a few bad calls, and a few mismatches we couldn't fix in the fourth and ended up taking the L. There is no excuse and we definitely should have been able to hang on for the win, but that's why they play the game. I don't want to go into too much detail because it might upset me. As you can tell from this and that, the papers did not want to talk much about it either. I think I had around 10 points with like 16/17 boards. We were still a little upset that night and did not do much, but whatever dude, life moves on.

And move on, it did.... On Sunday, we not only discovered one of the greatest shows in recent memory - The Tool Academy (Matsuflex, Tiny Tool, and Shawn are legends) - but we also had a VERY traditional German meal with our land lady. It was interesting to say the least. It began with us sitting around the couch in a dimly lit family room, sipping beers and freshly squeezed orange juice with the man in the house (huh?) and ended with some epic battles in darts. In between, we had zee German meal.

Although I must admit that the mashed potatoes were extremely tasty and scrumptious.. yum yum yum.. the rest of the meal was more interesting than scrump-diddly-umptious... First, the other side dish - sauerkraut. Now, I am not a big sauerkraut guy, but I definitely felt it was necessary to eat as much as possible so as to be polite to my lovely hosts. It was pretty tasty (I mean it was OK) and I am sure for all you sauerkraut lovers out there, a traditional German 'kraut would have made your day, but everyone has their own tastes, and 'kraut has never made my taste buds tingle with delight.

The main dish of the night is known as "eisbein." Wikipedia describes it very well here, even commenting on what the side dishes usually are with this meal. Man, wikipedia is so SMART. Now, eisbein is pig leg. It looked to me as though this pig leg was hacked off by some sort of large butchering knife and placed in an oven or something. The outside skin of the meat was so crispy it was nearly impossible to cut with a steak knife. Our host described this outside portion as her favorite part, almost like a potato chip, except harder to chew.

Me: ehhhhh, the outside was not my fave as it was solid as hell and full with fattyness. I ate most of my eisbein without gagging or doing any of my other standard maneuvers which used to plague the Goldsmith dinner table during my younger years (I was a bit of a picky eater).

After dinner, we had a lovely little orange, gelatin type cake thing... yes, that is the best way to describe it, and, I must admit, it was quite tasty. As we were about to leave, we got swindled into sitting down in the living room again and than challenged to some darts. Obviously, I was down and we ended up staying for probably another hour after the meal. It was a great time and definitely something any self-respecting German-American who lives in Germany should experience in his life... ONCE... at the most...

This dart game lead to some chatter between the housemates and somehow forced Marko into challenging me to a dunk contest. This dunk contest took place last night. I will now go into my alter-ego sports reporter and shamelessly hype this contest (video will be coming shortly thanks to the ever-so-talented Trevor Wittwer).


In a historic move, Marko "the Serbian Sensation" Filipovic has challenged Matt "the One-Legged American Vet" Goldsmith to a slam dunk competition. This contest will be hyped as "McSnack presents: the 2009 TV Werne Slam Dunk Contest." (In no way does McSnack represent or serve McDonald's affiliated cuisine, bringing pea soup, currywurst, and other strange German specialties to the foreigners of Werne every Monday and Thursday.)

In an epic battle of bitter rivals, Filipovic has challenged Goldsmith to something much larger than even he could understand, reminding many spectators of the Rocky vs Ivan Drago fight in Rocky IV or even the movie Miracle, chronicling the 1980 US Olympic hockey victory over the Soviets.

Marko "the ex-Yugoslavian, ex-Serbian-Montenegroan, current Serbian" Filipovic is a young, 21-year-old talent with immense amounts of potential, a 6'10" frame, and a naive outlook on life. Don't worry though ladies, he is not like most Serbians, and still chooses to cuddle as frequently as he can. He hopes to come to a town near you as soon as possible, currently studying hard so he can pass the SAT's and go to college in the States.

The much wiser, far more experienced Goldsmith is a wily veteran full of big ideas and high hopes. Matt "the One-Legged Wonder" Goldsmith aka "Peg Leg," aka "the Jersey Jumper," aka "I-will-take-reverse-lay-ups-and-lefty-hooks-all-day" is hoping to bring the American style of showmanship and pure, uninhibited, Nascar-esque power to all of his dunks. He describes himself as a crowd-pleaser with "a few tricks still up the old sleeve."

With a rivaly so ingrained in history, the "McSnack presents: the 2009 TV Werne Slam Dunk Contest" will surely be one for the ages. My early prediction: mark one more down for good ol' Amurica.

Video to come soon...


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